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Alert!

February 3, 2009

I am currently battling smallpox. This is unusual and rather alarming, the man from the CDC told me. They have prescribed me a rather aggressive antibiotic, which destroys not only the bacteria within my body, but also any bacteria inside a fifteen-foot radius from me. I emanate bacterial death. Initially, my odds of survival were quite good, but they are diminishing as my roommates become increasingly more convinced that the disease will soon spread to them; they plot my demise.

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