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Safety Tips

March 5, 2009

These bicycle safety tips were recently circulated in a corporate HR newsletter. I can’t reveal exactly which company they are from, but I assure you I didn’t make any of these up.

Bicycle Safety Tips
Warm weather is just around the corner, and soon it will be time
to dust off those bicycles. Here are some tips for safe riding:

  • Always use hand signals when turning at intersections. There’s nothing motorists pay more attention to than hand signals from bicyclists.
  • Leaving your bike out in the ice and cold all winter may cause serious damage.
  • Always wear a helmet. If this makes you uncomfortable, think of the helmet as a crown and yourself as King Smart.
  • Placing your feet firmly on the pedals of the bike will help reduce the “Wheee” sound emitted from your mouth while going downhill.
  • Insist on a bicycle made of solid matter. Liquid and vapor bikes are a passing fancy; argon frames are particularly shoddy.
  • Taking your bike in for a professional tune-up is a great way to waste $25.
  • Be sure to wear your seatbelt, even if just biking down to the corner store.
  • Visibility is crucial when biking. Ride with a lit highway flare in each hand.
  • Every three to four weeks, lightly oil the chain. Then dip it in flour and fry it for a real taste treat.
  • Does your city have adequate bike paths? If not, consider complaining about it to your local government for the next 40 years.
  • Bike safety can never be stressed enough. If you doubt this, try stressing it as much as you possibly can. It won’t be enough–guaranteed.
6 Comments leave one →
  1. Lisa permalink
    March 6, 2009 3:13 am

    I NEED to know the company. Please email me.

  2. cameo permalink
    March 6, 2009 4:57 pm

    Hmm, I’ll admit, I have a hard time believing you didn’t make these up…

  3. Diana Hulme permalink
    March 6, 2009 5:25 pm

    Oooh, the pressure is on to disclose the company. 🙂 Let’s see if Jae holds strong admist peer pressure. Hehe. Every time I read them it’s still funny!

  4. Amber permalink
    March 6, 2009 7:11 pm

    haa haa haa — awesome – thanks for the smile!

  5. Josh and Lar permalink
    March 6, 2009 9:11 pm

    soo great.

  6. March 6, 2009 11:10 pm

    Wait a second, I think I know what company this is from. Are they the same which provided the “Let’s Get It On” poster that is hung up in my living room? And are you not telling for some reason because you’re not allowed to put their name in writing?

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