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Wedding Pictures

July 25, 2009

Due to a recent chain of events involving lies, retirement strategies, and two episodes of Planet Earth, I found myself examining photos from the now-infamous Hanks-Krueger wedding which occurred earlier this summer. This innocent perusal yielded some interesting findings, which had lain undiscovered until I used a state-of-the-art “zoom, enhance” technique. I will share said findings with you now.

Exhibit A:

I don’t remember who took this particular photo, but he/she should be commended for capturing perfectly the essence of each roommate. Cameron and I in utter oblivion, Katie overcome with emotion, Justin gazing into the future, and Uncle Matt looking at a bug. I cannot think of another depiction that would render each of us more accurately.

Exhibit B:

Most of the participants in this photo are demonstrating the focus and demeanor appropriate for this type of occasion. Let me make, however, a couple of penetrating observations. First, Trix is clearly horsing. Entirely out of line for such a momentous achievement. Second, Uncle Matt has now begun gazing into the future, and judging by his expression, apparently doughnuts are part of that future. Thirdly, lest any of you question the propriety of my own facial arrangement, let me broaden your understanding of the context. This photo captured my face in a moment of sheer concentration – I was using The Force to delay the onset of the thunderstorm long enough for the temple photo shoot to conclude.

Exhibit C:

I wanted to join in the spirit of “Happiest day of my life”, but as I find myself largely unmarried, I decided to include this image of a recent trip with Pa and Pepe. “I can’t believe I’m actually at the Green!!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. cait permalink
    July 29, 2009 9:03 pm

    "largely unmarried?" does this mean that-to some degree–you are married?

  2. Kellen permalink
    July 30, 2009 4:07 pm

    Maybe I can help explain the largely unmarried comment. When one is married, they commit their entire heart and soul to their spouse. Because this author is a committed fan to the New York Yankees baseball club, a portion of his soul has been transferred to George Steinbrenner. So while not officially married, he remains in essence partially so… devoid of a complete soul, compassion, and rational baseball thought.

  3. Daniel and Bethany Whitehead permalink
    August 14, 2009 5:40 pm

    In the first picture, the dude getting married looks like Urban Meyer…yeah, I know, I'm kind of a nerd.

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